Walking the sidewalk to my home – I grip bits of ham between my fingers and think about how all of this went down. I wasn’t as mad that Amanda didn’t think enough of me to make dinner, as much as I was mad that she didn’t care enough to get off the phone and try to work out the situation.
The sound and thoughts of her “shushing” me – was making me mad all over again.
At that moment – I look up to God and say, “Lord, I’ve acted stupid tonight in a lot of ways – but I am really mad that she wouldn’t get off the phone to help me make dinner. I don’t really know whether I am in the right or in the wrong – but I need you to help me get over it.”
I was still heated over the fight when I began to climb the stairs to our apartment. I look down at my bag of ham – and realize that it’s almost empty. I have almost eaten an entire pound of ham in 5 minutes time.
I stuff the ham in my jacket, and I walk up the stairs. When I open the door –the heavy aroma of dinner that I had hoped would hit me in the face earlier when I got home from work was now overtaking my senses.
I was still mad though.
“Is that you?” Amanda asks – with a serious tone in her voice.
“Yes.” I answer her shortly.
I walk by her. I ignore the food she made. She asks, “You ready to eat?”
“How can you just act like you didn’t do anything wrong?” I let her know that I am still hurt.
“I know! I should have gotten off the phone – but it was from someone that I haven’t talked to in a really long time – otherwise I would have hung up.” She says.
“Well – I hope it was important because I always have dinner for you when you get home. You couldn’t just make dinner for me this once? A lot of important people call me too, Amanda – but I try not to put them before my spouse.” The more I talk about it – the more upset about it I become.
“Well – I made you dinner now, Ben. Aren’t you still hungry?” She asks.
“No. I don’t want your dinner.” I say – still harboring a sinful resentment.
“You’re not hungry?” Amanda asks me this inquisitively.
“No.” I tell her.
“Where did you go to get something to eat?”
“Well what did you eat at Harris-Teeter?” She asks.
I reach for the bag in my jacket and hold it in the air proudly to boldly declare THIS: “I ate a pound of ham!”
This revelation prompted a very confused look on Amanda’s face.
With sincerity in her voice, she slowly asks “You just ate a whole pound of deli ham for dinner?”
Feeling a bit embarrassed at the way it sounded when I said it, I summon all the masculinity I have within me to declare, “YEAH. I DID!”
A long moment of awkward silence filled the room – as Amanda stared at me in disbelief.
Then as Amanda was staring at me – her mouth began to curl up on both ends. She drops her face into her hands as she starts to laugh out loud. “You really ate a WHOLE pound of deli ham?”
Feeling ridiculous – I drop my head and start to laugh at myself. Amanda walks towards me with her arms wide open. “You poor babe! I’m sorry.”
The moment she wrapped her arms around me and I heard the sound of her laugh in my ear, every frustrating experience I had in the day was gone. It seems God just answered my prayer.
As I held her – she told me how sorry she was for ignoring me, and I told her how sorry I was for bringing my bad day home with me.
We kiss and trade an “I love you.”
Then Amanda breaks our embrace. She looks at me and asks, “So you gonna eat what I made for you?”
Now the thought of eating is making me a bit sick – as I just ate a pound of honey ham in five minutes time. But I know Amanda had worked hard on it so I ignore the aching of my gut to sit down at the table with Amanda.
By the time I consume the entirety of the meal that Amanda has prepared for me, I begin to feel the coming consequence of my ill-mannered behavior.
I kiss and thank Amanda for the delicious dinner – and I walk myself to the guest bathroom – where I spend the remainder of the evening in painful reflection of how I caused the dumbest argument Amanda and I have ever had.